Rant

Things that only happen in movies

First of all, I would like to apologize for my lack of incompetence for not posting daily. I am very sorry and I am also a terrible liar, as I said it will not happen again. I lied.. I just could not come up with an idea! And also I was engrossed in reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. If you have not yet read this wonderfully annoying book by an utterly amazing man, whom I kind of hate, go do so now. Leave this website, stop reading this terrible post and GO READ! You will regret picking it up, however, you will also be glad that you have read it. It is, seriously, the best book I have read so far..

ANYWAY… back to the topic of my actual blog today… There are some things which I’d like to point out that happen only in movies. Sometimes, I wish it would happen in real life, however, it usually does not, because life and the existence of it sort of sucks.

1. Why do people, especially women, wake up in the morning straight away? The alarm rings, or someone taps on their shoulder or something else happens around them, and they’re like, “Oh, it’s a beautiful day, so I’ll just wake up without rubbing my eyes, and looking like I had just been attacked by someone, and without my hair looking like a complete mess”, etc. Honestly? I think that if the directors want to make their movie as realistic as possible, they should at least develop a good, and REALISTIC, waking-up-in-the-morning scene. To any directors who may stumble upon my petty blog, please consider making a really good waking up scene. It would really make the movie better, trust me. Forget about everything else. Actually, just make a good 3-minute movie about waking up in mornings. That will cheer me up. šŸ™‚

2. In horror or thriller movies when someone runs away from something, you almost never see them eat or drink and yet they are healthy as hell and still have the energy to save a person or run away from a serial killer. How does that happen?! If I was to not have food all day, I’d have nothing but a rumbling stomach and a spinning head. How do you do this, people in movies? Teach me not to be hungry or thirsty! And also, they never look that dirty. That is kind of annoying. Please teach me your ways, the masters of not getting hungry, tired or thirsty. I will pay you for it.

3. Why do people know where to go and why do they never get tired when running? If someone is kidnapped in a movie, it is most likely that the person who is going to find them will know where to go. Do they have a map of the world and every single street planted in their brains? How does that happen? If police were in movies, they’d be able to find all the missing people in the world, which, undoubtedly, would be very wonderful. Also, why is it that whenever there is a long chase between several people and they have to run for thousands of metres, they never get tired? As far as I’m concerned, most of the people who are running away are not professional athletes and do not spend a huge amount of time running laps around the block. So how do they have the agility to run for about ten minutes straight without even puffing afterwards? If I run for at least 2 minutes, I get tired, frustrated and out of breath. How do they do that? I’d really like to know!

These are just some of the things that, I guess, I have always wondered about movies. If you have any more things to add to this small list, please leave a comment either telling me that there are not enough things or writing your idea of another thing that I should write about in my next blog, which I will try and write tomorrow but you will never know because I am a liar, as you have found out. So yeah, just write down a thought process which goes through your head while reading this rant. I hope you have enjoyed my creative use of the English language. šŸ™‚

MEOW! =^.^=

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