Hello my lovely cat people!
Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything planned, so this might be a little short story that I’ll write up on the go. Hope you enjoy and I love you all~! ❤
I have never felt so alone… Falling down into a continuous black hole and not getting out of it was something I was clearly good at these past few months. I have made so many mistakes and have lost so many people that I care about. And I can’t fix it, whether I like it or not. My actions are irreversible and I have no idea of what I’m going to do next. I had nothing planned for myself or for others and it was kind of starting to get to me. What was I doing with my life? Why am I constantly avoiding making decisions? I can’t seem to focus on anything lately. And it has started to get to me.
Why am I the one to suffer? This is probably a question everyone asks at least once in their lifetime. There is always a time when we all think that someone else is at fault for our actions, that it’s karma or the universe or just the pure existence of humanity. Whatever it is, this is what we all think of at least once. But when it suddenly hits you that you are the one at fault, then your whole world starts to shatter, you start to fall apart and there is no way of going back. It seems unreal to me how much this… “experience” changed me, I never realised just how much I blame everything on everyone else. But when I started to realise that, I also understood that I have made way too many errors, I simply cannot go back.
So, I write to you, dear reader, in hope that you will learn from my mistakes. If you are one of the people that I have hurt, I deeply apologise, but I have nothing to lose and so I have decided to run away from the world and take the easy way out. That’s because I’m done dealing with all the hard bullshit, I have had way too much drama recently and I can’t deal with it anymore.
But please, anyone reading this… Be true to yourself and don’t give in to the nothing of darkness. I know I have, perhaps, it wasn’t the right decision. But there is no going back, what’s done is done and you will probably be too late in stopping me… These are my final words, I hope they are not what you will remember me by.
P.S. I know this was very dark and different, I do hope you will like it. To anyone suffering depression who might be reading this post, this is not in ANY WAY supposed to encourage or promote suicide, it is one of the most horrible things in the world and no one should have to suffer from it. But we do, because life is life, the universe can be very cruel sometimes.
Please don’t feel obliged to read this if you don’t want to, I’m not making you, but this is simply what came to my mind at this time. I am a writer and this is an “improve” post, so I shouldn’t really have to explain myself there.
Anyone with depression reading this, please don’t give up like my character did. I know how stupid it sounds, but when you find even the smallest things to smile or be happy about, you start to appreciate life so much more! Suicide isn’t easy, but it prevents you from achieving your goals and dreams, no matter how ridiculous they may have seemed to you. You are stronger than depression, you are stronger than all the bullshit you are receiving. Find people to share your experience with or help someone who is having a difficult time, anything positive you say can save someone’s life – trust me on this one. Most importantly – be strong and show all the people or all the things that are hurting you that you can overcome anything. Once you are out of the darkness, you really will feel good about yourself and will start to appreciate everything so much more!! Anyway, sorry this was really dragged out… But I do hope you like the post nonetheless. 😀 If you have any comments or queries, leave them below and I shall respond to every single one of you that does. I really do love you guys, remember that. ❤