Singing

Hello my lovely cat people!

I haven’t been at it for quite a while and I missed this. :’) But I’m back, and I’m back to share one of my latest, not so great, first ever performances. Hope you enjoy. ❤

So this whole thing started when I found out that my homeroom (I think that’s what you guys call it) teacher at college told us that she was leaving our college to go to the other part of Australia. So I thought, what could I do? I decided that because I can kind of sing and kind of play piano, I wanted to do a performance before she leaves, as a kind of “farewell” present. Now I don’t think that I am a great singer, by all means, I would never ever do something like this, unless I’m doing it for something or someone REALLY special to me. I don’t like performing in front of a lot of people as I get really nervous and shy and… bleh.

But before all the preparation started for an assembly performance at my school, I have first e-mailed a friend of mine about an opportunity of a live music thing in May of the last lunchtime on Friday. But before I got a reply, I also stupidly decided to e-mail the main music teacher at our college (honestly, I think I was possessed) and asked his whether I could perform in assembly by the end of term. Unfortunately, I have failed to do both of those performances due to them being booked or having no time, which is quite sad. ;( But the music teacher gave me the go-ahead for the first week back from holidays and I said ok. I don’t even know why, I could’ve easily said no… But I like challenges and I like setting goals and performing in front of a 300+ audience was, sort of, one of them.

So then the preparation began. I have spent weeks preparing for this, at first singing and playing piano badly, but then slowly and surely getting better at it. The song that I was playing; Concrete Angels by Christina Novelli, if anyone’s interested :P; was quite easy to play by ear, so I did that without too much trouble. I spent hours practicing almost every week, at school, at home, practically anywhere with a piano. I started to gain confidence about my performance and I started to say to myself, “You know what? I can do this thing!” As the performance day got closer, I started getting a little more anxious and have asked my family and friends for their honest opinion on my performance, both of which rated positive. 😀

So then the performance day came… I was so nervous that when I actually got up on stage, my leg that was pushing down on the pedal, as well as my two hands, were shaking so much that I thought they were going to fall off. It was really horrible and I am still surprised that my voice didn’t go bad once… I also think that I looked much calmer that I really was on the inside (LIES!!). So there I was, playing my piece and enjoying myself, I actually thought that it was going well and that everyone is going to like it and stuff. But then guess what? I fucking screwed up… And to make the matters worse, I said “Oh God” into the mic…. UGH!!!! ><

I carried on like nothing happened and finished the song, and then people clapped and just like that I was off-stage with tears flowing down like crazy. Even though a lot of people came up to me afterwards and said that they really enjoyed it, I didn’t feel like it was a good performance. You might say that I am a harsh self-critic, but I don’t care. I just get so frustrated when I’ve been preparing for something and putting my heart and soul into it for, literally, weeks, practicing for so many hours every week, feeling confident at first, and then to come out on stage and to screw it up and to embarrass myself in front of my whole college and teachers was just… I don’t know… call it what you will, shattering, heartbreaking, it was one of those very unpleasant feelings that you won’t feel empathy for until you have experienced it yourself… It is really indescribable and I wish I had never felt it.

So after the performance, I went to the bathroom with a very good friend of mine and she reassured me while I was crying my eyes out that it wasn’t that bad. And to make it worse, my other friend said that he will be filming the performance and then uploading it to Facebook, which I didn’t really have a problem with, but when I stuff up and that moment is captured on video for the whole internet community to see… It makes me feel very self-conscious. And after that, I felt for a few days that I never want to do this kind of thing again. One, I’m not that good of a singer, there are TONS of other people at my school who are a way better skill-level than I am. Two, I got so nervous, I thought my legs and feet were going to break off or something… I didn’t want to experience that kind of stress again. And three, I’m not that good at playing instruments and when I get nervous and perform in front of people, I most likely mess up. So I didn’t feel that confident about anything at that moment and even though so many people came up to me and said that I did a great job (which I did appreciate, especially after my screw up), I just didn’t feel like it was a well-deserving “good” performance. I would’ve been much happier if I had forgotten the words and just kept going because that’s not as noticeable as an actual stop.

But then, when the video on Facebook started getting a various number of likes, it made me feel reassured that the mistake I made wasn’t that bad. Even though I still can’t watch the part where I screw up and just put my phone away, I felt as though other people moved past that and still enjoyed it because of my singing. I am in no way saying that I only felt better because I started getting “popular” on the internet, but it made me feel a little better that a bunch of my friends on Facebook, most of whom I don’t even talk with on a daily basis, started liking something that I used to do at family dinners or my bedroom most of the time. It made me feel that if I can do it, then anyone can, and I hope I’ve inspired someone to go up onto the stage and show off what they have.

The world nowadays can be so cruel and unkind and my biggest fear is to be judged or critiqued heavily by other people, and to see that people in my grade, some of whom are not the nicest of people, liked what I did despite the really embarrassing mistake I made on stage, literally means the absolute world to me! I am so grateful to all those people that have either liked the video or came up to me and said that they liked it anyway. So, person who made me feel better, if you somehow stumble upon this typical teenage rant post, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤

So, lesson to learn from this, we all make mistakes, however, we can choose whether to get up and keep going or stay lying down. I chose to get up right after I stuffed up and people started to admire me. So, if you have a hidden talent that you would love to share with the world but are afraid that people won’t like it or that you will stuff up, just remember that if you do make a mistake but then pick yourself up, people will admire and like your performance so much more, because it really is hard to do. Trust me.

Hopefully this has helped some of you with whatever you might have been feeling, I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

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Beatboxing… HOW?

Hello my lovely cat people!

Today I’m going to talk briefly about the art of beatboxing. People that are professionals in this art are amazing and I cannot, for the life of me, ever understand how they do it. The way they use their voice and their mouth and rhythm and everything else astounds me so much, which is why I really do think it is an art. It is also really hard to master if you want to do it well and possibly make a career out of it.

One of my favourite beatboxers is Tom Thum, an Australian, whose talents are just…. WOW! Just watch this video, he is pretty great:

Also, I know that I’ve mentioned Pentatonix before and as much as they are an acapella band, Kevin the beatboxer is also really talented. ❤ Just thought I should mention some of these artists….

If you like any cool beatboxers that I probably have not heard of, comment below and I'll give them a listen. 🙂 I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

Cleaning

Hello my lovely cat people!

As you can see, I have clearly failed yet again to post on time this week… So instead, the short story will go up “normal time”, which is this Thursday (24th July). Hopefully, I’ll be able to find a good challenge or something similar for August, which should keep me posting regularly! (I know, right!) I have school starting tomorrow… again… but for now, I’m going to talk about cleaning and avoid doing the homework that I haven’t done during the holidays! 😀

Yesterday, I had a friend come over who I haven’t seen in so long, it is crazy! However, because our meet-up was very sudden and unplanned, I have not had any time to clean my room… So, to my immense horror, she walks in and her jaw just drops. I am not kidding… Kill me. ;___; I didn’t realise also that she will be coming over to my house as we were meeting up with our sisters in the kids’ play-centre. But, of course, with my luck, she came into my room… To make it better, she has OCD (not sure if she was joking or not) and has to keep her room tidy. Um… yeah… I have failed at yet another thing in life! 😀 So, kids, learn from this and make sure to clean your room regularly…

But when you do clean your room, you just find stuff that you haven’t played with for ages. So you just end up inspecting every little thing you find instead of actually putting them away, which tends to create an even bigger mess. This is basically how I “clean”.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this little post, I love you all~! ❤
MEOW! =^.^=

Playing with the Devil: Chapter 7 | Fiction Corner

Hello my lovely cat people!

Here’s the long awaited 7th instalment of the short story, I hope you all enjoy!. This one is a little more cheesy and romantic, but I hope you will like it either way. Next chapter is coming next week. 🙂

I love you all~! ❤
MEOW! =^.^=

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Chapter 7
As much as I would like to accept what Luc, or Cerberus, or whoever he is… I can’t. It has been on my mind for so long…
Since his, “reveal”, it has been so long since we’ve actually had a talk with each other… It’s crazy to think how much can change because of just one secret between people. Whenever I have tried talking to him, he just turned the other way and left as fast as he could. Every time I would have English with him, he would sit on the opposite end of me and wouldn’t even turn to face me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what he has said to me, maybe it was the way I reacted that scared him off, or maybe it was my inner feelings that he somehow sensed. I am not sure of how capable he is of controlling his powers, I don’t think even Luc is fully aware of his abilities either. But just talking to him would make me feel so much better! He won’t talk to me, let alone look at me, so I’m not even sure we’re together anymore…
Who knew that lying on your own bed and looking up at the ceiling can stimulate so many different thinking processes? Outside, it was a dark, cold and quiet night, just like in horror movies when something’s about to go wrong. My life feels like a horror movie, everything that could go wrong has done exactly that. I don’t even know what to do anymore, if only Luc was here.
No, why am I doing this? I have to take action! If Luc won’t talk to me, I will!
I got up out of bed and exited my room. Almost everyone was out partying for Halloween, so most of our dorm has been covered in fake cobwebs, pumpkins and ghosts for the past few weeks. It gave the girls a chance to really show off their bodies and dress as “sluts” for one night. The boys certainly didn’t have any objections… Halloween is also the night when a lot of the hook-ups happen. Not all of them are necessarily with strangers, but many moans and grunts are heard at about midnight when normal and boring people like me are trying to get their sleep.
As I approached Luc’s door, I stood there for a while. I didn’t want to know or go in, I was afraid that I might get a slammed door in my face. Instead, I just sat in front of it, leaning against his door. That way, I thought he wouldn’t have a chance of passing through me without talking. So I sat there, with the brilliant plan in mind, waiting for something to happen.
A couple of girls were approaching me; one dressed as a black cat, and another dressed as a bunny; and when they saw me sitting at the door, they simply laughed and started to whisper to each other. I didn’t even care, they can think whatever they want to! But what if they tell Luc that I was here? What if he thinks I’m a stalker or something? I stood up and decided to leave, writing a note on his door instead. I never thought of myself as weak, but today I was, I cannot stand up for myself or for what’s right. What am I doing?
As I finished writing the note, I turned around and was on my way back to the dorm. But then, I saw Luc, just there on the stairs that were going down to the party room. He was there by himself, so I decided to sit down next to him and join in.
“Hey…” Luc didn’t respond. “Can I… um… join you?” He didn’t respond again, so I just took that as a yes. As I sat down, he has moved away from me slightly, holding onto the metal railings. I looked down the stairs awkwardly and we sat there in silence for a while.
“So I know we haven’t talked in a while, but you just saying something to me would make this conversation a thousand times easier…” Luc wouldn’t even look at me. He was stubborn enough to continue looking at the metal bars and not blurt out a single word. “Look, I don’t know why you’re trying to protect me… If you wanted that, you would’ve never told me that you are… it. But looking over at the metal bars over there and not facing your fears makes you weak, so unless you start talking—“
“Look, I don’t know how to control it, okay?” Luc’s voice became so weak all of a sudden, I’ve realised that he was about to cry… “I just… When I imagine you getting hurt by whatever it is inside me, I just get so scared and frustrated I don’t want to see you. Do you know how hard it has been on me these past few months that we haven’t talked, even exchanged glances? Believe me, all I wanted was to talk to you, in fact, that was all I kept thinking about. But I’ve been trying to protect you, because you have no idea how strong he really is…”
For the first time in a few months, I did what I thought was right. I turned his head slightly to face me and kissed him. He responded and forgot all about his dark side for one moment. Maybe not all hope is lost.
“Look, you just need to tell me what’s going on, right from the start.” He stared at me blankly for a moment.
“Are you sure you’re going to be able to handle the whole truth?”
I stood up from my spot and grabbed his hand, we headed back to his room, kissing, and before entering, I took off the note from the door. Tonight was about us getting back together, getting back on track after what happened. The whole truth can wait… I can wait until tomorrow. But for now, we were just going to enjoy the moment that we have alone.

Can you please come see me? I can’t stand being alone anymore…

HOLIDAYS!!

Hello my lovely cat people!

I can now safely say that I finished my 1st Semester of college!! 😀 And although my results are not as great as my parents and I would like them to be, I’m definitely going to pull myself together and be ready to pick myself back up after the two-week holiday break. But for now, bring on dancing competitions, gaming, writing, studying and sleep.

So what does this mean for all of you lovely people? This means that I’m back and ready to post as many things as I can! You guys have all been incredible and I’m amazed that you’ve sticked around even though I haven’t posted for weeks! So I’m going to give everything I can back to you and provide you with awesome context, including reviews of some of the theatre shows I went to see this year, as well as potentially some dancing blog posts ❤ Also, my short stories are coming back on Thursday and I'm going to post another chapter next week as well, since I've been so behind on everything!

I can only hope that you guys will read my things, if not, I completely understand. So, without further wait, I will provide all of my cat people with amazing content for the next two weeks. I hope you're all as excited as I am!!!

I love you all~! ❤
MEOW! =^.^=