Hello my lovely cat people!
So I don’t actually think that I have caused someone a great deal of pain, as I consider myself a pretty good friend. So this is going to be an improvisation letter. Hope you enjoy and I love you all~! ❤
I am sorry. I am so sorry for doing this to you. What you must have felt at the moment you found me with him must have been heartbreaking. Maybe even more than heartbreaking. In fact, I can’t imagine what that must feel like, I can only fully understand the full extent of my damage if you were to cheat on me. But, why did it have to be me? I don’t know… I thought I was satisfied with our relationship, but clearly, something wasn’t quite right. And it’s stupid of me to blame it on the large amounts of alcohol, as taking it was also my fault.
Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking at the time, I didn’t feel like I was in control. But I think what hurt you most was seeing me… with him… and not with you.
Remember those days, those very first days, when we would just sit in the park and look up at the sky during daylight? And then, in summer, we would go to the same park and watch the stars and the moon on a little rug, drinking smoothies and milkshakes. We were laughing and we were happy. I was happy.
I don’t know what the change was in our relationship, but suddenly, after summer break, I didn’t feel as close to you as I did any other time. I decided to ignore that feeling, but it couldn’t be ignored – it had suddenly occurred to me that we had not been intimate for the entire time we were dating. And I know that I told you I would wait for you until you were ready, but inside, I was burning up. I didn’t want to wait any longer and I couldn’t contain myself. That feeling of impatience is probably what I regret the most.
I know that a letter of my inner thoughts and feelings is nothing compared to the act. But I didn’t know how else to get your attention, because you wouldn’t talk to me. I am not expecting us to be together anymore, but if you could try and forgive me so that we could become friends, or even acquaintances again, that would mean the world to me. I know you’re a good person, Jacob, a better person than I am anyway. And I wanted to let you know that I was happy with you, more happy with you than anyone else.
I will always love you,