Happy Halloween! | RageCatBlogs

Hello my lovely cat people!

I hope you’re having/had a good day!

Here’s a short story that I wrote, so I hope you like it!

I should warn you though, it does contain some gore and violence, etc, so if you’re not into that, then please don’t read this, as I don’t particularly want to give you nightmares…

I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

~~

This is it. This is the point where my life will either stop or keep going, this is the end of the road for me. So many people, mainly my friends and some members of the family, kept telling me, “Don’t do it, it’s not worth your time!” But I don’t listen to people these days, so I decided to act upon my decision and let go.

Sitting alone in a bathtub probably isn’t the best way to spend last moments of your life, now that I think about it. It would’ve been better to drive out onto a bridge or something, have a last drink and then jump, hoping that your dead body will not float up to the surface – that way you remain hidden from the world and you will slowly be forgotten.

Being forgotten sucks. Lately I have always contemplated whether I will be missed when I’m gone. I have also come to the conclusion that people will soon forget about me anyway, kind of like they are now. This is part of the reason why I’m here.

People often say that taking your life is the “cowardly way out” and that there’s “so much to live for!” In our society, the world is slowly, but surely, filling itself up with douchebags and rich people. If you’re slightly below the norm of “popular” or any other kind of group, you are straight away thought of as an outcast and will be given constant looks of judgement. Like me, for example. I really enjoyed playing video games in my spare time. Whenever I’d come home, I remember how I always went to play something either on my computer or on a platform of some sort – I have a lot of them at home! But then, people started naming me things and calling me ‘nerd’, ‘low-life’… You catch my drift. After that, I stopped… But the bullies didn’t.

That’s the thing about this world – the strong will prey on the weak, there is no escape from it. No matter how much our world leaders would like to stop it, it will always happen. Like underage drinking, smoking, drug abuse, etc. There are just some problems that will not go away, no matter how hard we try.

So here I am, in my bathtub with blade in hand, ready to take my own life. I have left no notes, no last-minute goodbye texts… I’m just going to disappear. I’m really curious how long I can go unnoticed for. I have lost all faith in this world and my so-called friends. I don’t want to be around in this world for much longer.

With the sharp letter opener in-hand, I bring it closer to my wrists, slowly gashing away at the scars that were already there. And there were a lot of them. The red warm liquid started running down my arm, dripping away into the white bathtub. What a shame, this was only bought a few days ago… I suppose this is one way of remembering me – by my bloodstains.

This feeling of power and complete powerlessness at the same time was exhilarating, I think this is the part of cutting that I enjoy the most. My psychiatrist told me otherwise, of course, but he can’t stop it. I can’t stop it… This is like my heroin, where I actually need to continue to survive. It is essential to my living. Which is why I have decided to end it.

Many people would disagree with me. They would try and convince me of finding another way, tell me to look for good things in the world. But honestly, I’m so done with advice. No matter how hard I try, there will always be a day where I’ll remember everything bad I’ve done, which will further lead me to a conclusion that I am a terrible person and should not exist.

My first encounter with blood occurred a couple of years back, when I was about 16. Don’t like to remember about it, but they say that your life flashes before you when you die. I feel like I am in a church, confessing about my sins. But I find this more helpful; since this is me targeting my problems instead of other people telling me I have them.

I remember the face clearly, she was pale but her lips were bright red – the lipstick really complemented her look. She was wearing a short dress, the kind of one you would wear to impress someone. She tried to impress me, but by that point I was starting to shut down from the world and ignored everything around me. I wish I didn’t.

She looked so beautiful, maybe a little bit like a vampire. We were out in an alleyway, it was dark and there was only a street lamp. She was smoking. The toxic gas filled the chilly air and started to sting my lungs. After a while, she offered me a smoke, but I refused. Didn’t want to further worsen my health. Jess was the type of person who would always look out for everyone, which is why she was always stressed and in need of a relief, because everyone was dumping their problems onto her. She tried helping me one time, but, as you can see, it didn’t exactly work.

We were standing there quietly, Jess was shivering a little – her breath along with the smoke was dancing around in the light. We could hear the loud bass coming from the inside, she wanted to get back in as soon as possible and tried to finish smoking quickly. But I guess she wasn’t quick enough…

Among the ear-tearing music, I could hear something else. It was faint, but there were definitely a group of people heading our way. Something told me that we should get inside now, but I didn’t listen to my instincts. They came up to us, to Jess mostly, asking for cigarettes or lighters. Jess offered, but as soon as she did, a silver blade could be seen shining in one of the hands of those boys. As soon as I saw it, it went straight in… The doctors couldn’t do anything – they came too late, so Jess died on the spot.

Her blood was seeping through her white dress and was almost the same colour as her lipstick. My hands were forever stained and it is not something I can remove so easily. For many years I have carried this burden, among many others… But since then I have realized that I liked the feeling of blood seeping down someone’s body. I liked the feeling of being relied on and being in control.

I don’t want to hold this off for much longer… So these are truly the last moments of my life, spent thinking about all the bad things I have done… Everyone’s minds become corrupt with something, which is sad when you think about it. I don’t recommend anyone ending life this way, it’s not for everyone. Gashing their throat, resulting in a slow and painful death, is not a “fun” way to die.

This is it… My mind is all over the place and I have to end this now… Who would’ve thought that the life of Finnegan Fletcher would’ve ended at such a young age… They would say that he had so much to live for and it is sad that it had to end this way. But in their minds, they will all think he is a coward. Finnegan was a good guy, most of the time, but lost his way early on.

I know I will not be missed.

But sometimes, I hope I will be.

The cold blade touches my neck… The blood is seeping through the deep wound and I hear myself gurgle.

Life became meaningless… This is why it had to end.

But what a shame about that bath…

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Are you excited for Halloween?

Hello my lovely cat people!

I’m so glad to see that our little audience has grown – thank you for the support. :’)

So, Halloween is coming up soon! Even though I don’t really celebrate it here in Australia, I think it is still a nice holiday to have, especially if you’re invited to a costume party. 😛

So for the upcoming holiday, I am planning to write a short story, which I hope you will like. 🙂

Let me know down in the comments what you’re going to be, if anything; what you are going to do; and who you are going to celebrate it with.

I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

Break-Ups

Hello my lovely cat people!

Instalment #2 of my 1 year at WordPress. I honestly love this website so much and the community that I have built-up here over the year has been incredible…. You guys are amazing, I can’t stress this enough! ❤

So I’ve been thinking about break-ups lately… Some Facebook ads may or may not have triggered my thoughts on this…. But what really annoys me is how they are done.

Ok, let me break this down for you… Here are some tips on how definitely NOT to break up with anyone, regardless of you being a guy or a girl. It’s just not the way to do things. Keep in mind though, my last break-up was in 2010 and I am still single….. So I may be rusty on a few points, but still! If you do it, do it with decency. It will save you and your, soon to be, ex-partner time and unneeded emotions and stress.

1. Don’t EVER tell your partner that you’re not good enough for them.  

This one is what my ex told me when he broke up with me… As well as being annoying, it is just embarrassing. I mean, the reason they have chosen to go out with you in the first place is because you ARE good enough, even better than that. Isn’t the whole gist of relationships to choose someone who’s perfect, or at least close to it? So, please, person, don’t tell us that we made the wrong choice by choosing to have you in our life, as if the break-up isn’t bad enough already…

2. Don’t break-up over text/inbox, etc. 

It has occurred to me that people still do this! We are in the day and age where phones and other technology are a big part of our lives. But at least have enough decency and honesty when you wish to leave your partner. Not all emotions can be expressed over typed up words. It is also very hurtful. You may not realise it and may be doing it out of good intentions, but it hurts your partner more when you do that. It is better to meet up with them somewhere private and talk it over. Don’t be that guy/girl.

3. Don’t say that you miss your partner after a few days have passed over text/inbox, etc.

Ok… Similar to the previous point, if you feel like you have made a mistake, come over and talk about it. Don’t be a jerk. I think I’ve said enough here…

4. If you’re the boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s best friend, please DON’T tell the partner they’re going to break-up with you.

This is sort of what happened to me, where a girl who I’m close to has told me that my boyfriend was talking about breaking up with me.

So let’s talk about this… First of all, it’s very rude because their relationship is none of your business. Sorry about being harsh, but it’s true. Also, it can be taken as a joke and if you want to stay best friends with the people in the relationship, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. If one of the partners in the relationship trusted you enough to tell you that he/she is going to break up, then they trust you to keep it a secret. It’s not that hard to figure out, not rocket science.

5. Be honest.

If you were ever being dishonest, breaking up is the time to let the truth come out. It is best to be as truthful as possible. And I know that you may think that you are sparing your partner unneeded emotions, it is better to tell them why you’re breaking up, if there was someone else you loved, if you’ve cheated on them, etc. It is better they find out from you than from someone else, trust me.

Lastly, just think about your decision and whether it is the right one to make at that particular time. Because if you ever think after the break-up that you made the wrong decision, it might be too late. Also, it may not be the right time to break up, for example, there might have been a huge stress in the family or something less serious but still important, and the last thing you want it to put on extra pressure onto the person you want to leave. However, if your partner is pressuring to stay in the relationship with them, i.e. they threaten to kill themselves if you break up, talk about it with someone – like a counsellor or parent or close friend. That is called blackmail and is not the healthy relationship that you need. That also means that you are making the right decision by leaving that person.

I hope that helped some of you at least. Again, any questions or comments, just leave them below. 🙂

Thank you for an amazing year, I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

Whole World New | RageCatBlogs

Hello my lovely cat people!

I do apologise yet again for lack of posts, really wasn’t in the mood for it.

It came to my attention that 1 year ago I started this blog… Wow! There are already 88 of you! I couldn’t be happier, honestly! Let’s just hope our little audience will keep growing into something bigger and better and that I will actually have an uploading schedule for you guys! Won’t that be a surprise 😉

Anyway, here’s post #1 of the day, and this is a short story that I was going to put in for a competition at my school, but at the time I had a different idea and decided not to enter at all… And frankly, wasn’t planning on posting this today, but because this is such a special occasion for me in the blogging community, decided to do it. 🙂

But, I do hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=

~~~

It was dark…

I don’t remember much, but the one thing that kept me going was the warmth, the warmth that I felt whilst I was inside was… nice. It wasn’t just any warmth though; it was the warmth you feel when you’re close to someone.

I don’t remember much, but the warmth that I felt was that of my mother. Her soothing voice that she had every morning when she would wake up and walked to, what I assumed, was the bathroom.

I don’t remember much, but there was the sound of water constantly running – little droplets would be running down her body and being slowly sucked into the shower drain, making an insignificant whirlpool; a little too insignificant for anyone else to notice. How do I know this, you ask? All in good time.

I don’t remember much, but I do remember the way my mother ate when she kept me warm. She ate so many salads, yoghurts, and just anything healthy in general. She really cared about her diet when she looked after me. She read every single book about how to stay healthy, she really wanted me to have a good life. I remember how I could taste what she ate… It was a really strange feeling, almost a sensation. It was a little too insignificant for anyone else to notice… But not me.

I don’t remember much, but I do remember the way that my mother used to shout at someone. Angrily, she would shout across the room to a stranger; he seemed so familiar and close to me but I was too young to remember. Every time my mother would raise her voice at this man, it was as if I could feel her physically tearing her hair out, wishing for it all to go away and forget about it. She wanted to hide in the darkness and seal herself away from the world, like me. She wanted nothing whatever to do with this man; at that age, I was too young to understand why. Frankly, I didn’t care. I just wanted my mother safe…

I don’t remember much, but I do remember the long walks my mother used to take me out on. I remember the birds tweeting outside. Whenever we were outside, it would always be sunny, because I would feel even more warmth on me, not just my mother’s.

I don’t remember much, but I do remember the way my mother cried at night. It was as if something big had been torn out of her. I feel like that is how she would cry if I was torn away from her. For some reason, I kept thinking that she was crying about that stranger. But then I thought to myself, “Why would mummy be crying about someone who has caused her so much pain?” I assumed this, you see, from the way she was shouting at him. I think that is how other people show hate towards someone. Mother says that hate is a strong word to use, but I think she’s just making excuses, just so that she can stop feeling. Sometimes, I feel like she wants to be enveloped in the darkness, so that it surrounds her completely and seals her off from the rest of the world; so that she can then be sent away with the help of someone or something, just like a real letter. Everyday, I felt like she was writing a letter to her friend who was so far away from her, that she would never be able to reach him. In some ways, I thought it was good, because it’s not always healthy to be wrapped in darkness. (I should know, since my mother kept reading the advice on how to stay healthy out loud) But at other times, I think it makes my mother really sad… Sad that she can never touch the darkness and make it all go away. She told me that “life” can be really tough. But I didn’t really understand what she meant by “life”. It was as if she heard me, because right after that she added, “You’ll understand soon, Henry…

Henry? What is that? She has never called me like that before, so I thought that mother was talking about that stranger that she yelled at in the morning and cried about at night when no one could see her tears or hear her screams. No one, except for me…

I don’t remember much, but I do remember how one night, mother woke up and started screaming. I was listening out for the stranger, but he wasn’t around, mother wasn’t screaming at anyone but herself. I thought it was strange how she did that. So I thought that maybe she’s really upset about her friend not writing to her, not sending her letters. I thought that was the reason for her sadness. But then, suddenly, I felt this push, as if something wanted me to come out of the darkness. I refused! I didn’t want to leave the warmth! I wanted to be able to listen to the sounds and assume things! I wanted my mother to talk to me all day and cry to me at night, I wanted to be able to listen to her problems… But I realized that if I were to be pulled away, I would never be able to do that. I thought that my mother would be sad for me to be pulled away, which is why she was crying and screaming. So I fought, I fought to stay close to her, to stay in the darkness…

I don’t remember much, but I do remember a lot of bright lights… I remember opening my eyes for the first time and seeing a lot of people who were looking down at me. They looked happy – they were laughing a lot. But I really wasn’t that sure… I felt sad that the first “face” I saw wasn’t my mother’s – I wanted to be able to see the woman who had taken so much time and put in so much effort into caring for me. That made me sad, so I started crying, crying and screaming and kicking. The people who were staring at me looked happy again and thought it was a good sign. How can they look happy when I am clearly in a state of agony? Do they take pleasure in watching me suffer?

I don’t remember much, but I do remember being carried over to what seemed like a place that my mother was crying on at night. Then, I saw her… Her beautiful dark strands of… something, and her eyes… So green… Almost like the trees that mother told me about. Her nose and mouth were so finely shaped, almost like she was made perfect just for me. As soon as those people put me down into her arms, I relaxed and looked up at the woman who has given “life” to me. Henry, she cried.

She said I would understand… I think I finally did.

This is a whole new world… A world without darkness, only filled with light and happiness. At least, that is what I thought during my young years. There is always darkness, inside every one of us, lurking in the deepest corners of our minds… But it is our choice to either write to them as a friend, or shout at them like at a stranger.

Personally? I choose the last option.

Thoughts on the YouTube craziness…

Hello my lovely cat people!

I’m back!! I’m already into the holidays, but I haven’t really had time or the right mindset to blog… But now I’m ready and I hope you are too!

So I know that this post won’t relate to everyone, because I don’t know if any of you are “into” YouTube. But for those of you who are interested and do follow what is going on in the internet world, a few crazy things have been happening in the past month!..

So, to give you a brief overview of the events, a “famous” YouTuber – Sam Pepper – released a “prank” video, titled Fake Hand Ass Pinch Prank, a few weeks ago where he sexually harassed women by pinching their bums without them knowing. The day it was released, the whole of YouTube and Twitter exploded with rage, which is the normal reaction, in my opinion. He has since released 2 other videos, the second one titled the same, but 2/3 added on as well, where a woman would pinch men’s bums; and the third one in the series being the “reveal” where he has claimed that his prank was a social experiment and that the people who were being sexually harassed knew that everything was going to happen and that they were essentially actors. Since posting the first video, Sam Pepper has been banned from all the future YouTube conventions, such as VidCon and Playlist Live, as well as being banned from a popular YouTubers React show by the Fine Brothers.

Now, my thoughts on this are that it is great that so many people in the YouTube community have taken action to get this man off the internet. I’m really happy to see that this is causing such a major reaction, as I am sure other people are as well. But this is not the first time Sam has done this sort of thing. He has many other such “pranks” where he handcuffed women until they gave him a kiss, or he lassoed them until they had the same reaction. What really annoys me, or I guess what I really don’t understand, is why people haven’t done this earlier? Why has everyone left it until this year and this particular moment to take a stand against sexual harassment? Mind you, the other two videos mentioned have not been banned, but quite the opposite – they are two examples of his most viewed videos on his channel! What I think happened is that because the other popular YouTubers, such as Tyler Oakley, took a stand against him on Twitter and other social media, only then did people go, “Oh yeah, let’s actually do something about this guy…”

Since then, some victims of sexual assault from Sam Pepper have also shared their experiences online, which I think is really brave of them. But again, because Sam’s other harassment videos weren’t as publicised a couple of years ago, only now are these victims truly coming out of their shells! This to me is absolutely ridiculous and annoying beyond comprehension!

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS NOT OKAY, PEOPLE! There is no excuse for this – none! It has to be dealt with there and then, not 2 years later when the damage has already been done.

Please take a stand on the day it happens, not when nothing can be fixed.

I love you all~! ❤

MEOW! =^.^=